DIVORCE IN THE NIGERIAN AND WEST AFRICAN COMMUNITIES IN THE UNITED STATES

Divorce in the Nigerian and West African Immigrant Communities in the united States


Divorce is universal, meaning that divorce happens all over the world. Even in Biblical times,divorce was around and Jesus himself answered questions on the subject. Why then has divorce taken a whole new angle in the new immigrant communities in the United States. In the African immigrant communities, especially West African and more specifically Nigerian, the divorce rates have escalated and so have spousal abuse and homicides. In one year alone, up to five women died at the hands of their husbands. Most of the victims were Nurses. Discussions in chat rooms and mail fora display a variety of views and opinions on this very serious subject. Cultural influences weigh in heavily. Back in the homelands in West Africa, marriages were and are still mostly family affairs where the families and extended families of the couple are all involved to a certain extent in the marriage. When problems come and every attempt to save it fails, and a marriage must end, the families are again involved and the divorce is settled with mutual respect and the familes usually part as friends and the man and woman go their seperate ways,to remarry or do whatever they choose to do with their lives. Being Igbo, I am looking at this subject from the Igbo cultural perspective.The Igbo people take marriage very seriously and go through many customary steps to set up a marriage and when a marriage breaks up,there are also special customs which must be fulfilled to bring the marriage to a close. Over the last three decades, many Nigerians started putting down roots in the United States. It used to be that most of them got their education and then moved back to their homeland. A combination of many factors changed that trend and Africans,mostly Nigerians settled down after college with hopes of moving back to the homeland someday.Political and economics downturns are some of the factors contirbuting to the flight from the homeland by middle class Nigerians, even increasing the population of the Exiles. Many Nigerians have now reared or are having and raising their children here in the United States. At the same time, they remain a life line for their families and extended families in the homeland. This unusual set up tend to put a lot of stress on relationships and marriages. Here you have a family not fully settled because of plans to relocate back to the homeland someday, raising children, paying college tuition and bearing heavy burdens for family members thousands of miles away,and sometimes trying to set up homesteads in the homeland while maintaining one in the United States. As the burden of this way of life started taking its toll, marriages started succumbing just as domestic violence and spousal homicide became occurences that keep repeating. Money and finances are at the top of the causes of marital problems in these groups, not surprisingly. Alarmed, Nigerians are trying to cope with the burden of this problem which has drawn undesirable attention to the community already dealing with image problems. Women are given almost all the blame for the trend and quite unfairly too. Most divorced women are not vocal on this matter for fear of taking insults and criticisms. For the few who dare to speak up and live freely like normal people, the insult, both verbal and otherwise dished out to them by some people both men and women who feel that marriages collapse because the wives are inadequate as women and as wives. The probability of the cause of a divorce being a woman or man's fault is like the probablity of having a pregnant woman having a male or female baby. As painful as the unwarranted charges are, the real blow comes when serious intimidation is employed to keep such women quiet and miserable. Taunting, mocking, name calling and other methods are used to stifle these women. Sometimes, private lives are openly discussed and ridiculed. The feelings, interests, and privacy of the children are totally ignored. Swipes are often taken at each other by couples with marital problems on the internet, with each putting out private information, often laced with lies and half truths. The shocking revelations beget more resentment which in turn, at the urging of some of the readers and commentators, more ugliness is published at the expense of the writer, the subject and the children. The commentators add fuel to the fire, and most of the time without knowing the details, they take sides whether fairly or unfairly. The sad thing which most people miss is that being right or having more support does not in anyway change the situation. Only losers come out of divorces, no winners at all. The marriage may be already over, almost over or heading to the rocks. Instead of stepping in to stop the storm and save the marriage, or make the inevitable seperation and subsequent divorce cordial and peaceful as is the way in the homeland, the community resorts to criticism and antagonism. No mechanisms of intervention are in place, no education or discussion of the impact of living in a new culture or environment on marriages, are taking place. Most of the talk is on shifting blame and condemning, using culture, and bible verses,some of the time out of context, and even when not relevant to every situation. Change is coming very slowly. From the chat rooms and forum discussions, some of the problems and isues leading to the high rate of divorce and spousal homicide in Nigerian communities have at least been mentioned. As this year 2008 draws to an end, only one case of spousal homicide was reported, one too many, but a great improvement, none the less. The ideal thing is zero spousal homicide, reduced violence and divorce rates.
Ndi Igbo (Igbo people) have a saying --"mpempe ndu ka mpempe onwu nma" meaning that " a little peace of life is better than a little piece of death". If a divorce will save a life or lives, then so be it.
Hopefully, the rates of domestic violence and spousal homicide in the Nigerian communities will continue to drop. I hope that 2009 will roll in a new era of preventive actions through objective discussions on intervention through counselling, education, and town union sessions dedicated solely to families and family needs.
Chinwe A. Enemchukwu
November 2008.


Related: relationships, nigerians, family, divorce, counselling, children

FLASH FROM THE PAST ( IGBO SURVIVAL)

The Igbo (Ibo) of Eastern Nigeria went through a horrible war trying to seceed from Nigeria, following the pogrom and killing of thousands of Igbo in Northern Nigeria. The young Republic of Biafra collapsed in January 1970. Following is a report by TIME from July 1970.

"...Thousands of tons of relief food rotted on Lagos' docks; eventually stocks of Dutch powdered milk intended for starving children were used to fill road potholes in Port Harcourt..."
TIME MAGAZINE: Monday July 17, 1970

The unconquerable Ibos

Crowds still line the roads to Enugu and Orlu, Umuahia and Aba, major centers of Nigeria's Ibo tribe. But now the crowds are made up mostly of traders and their customers, not fleeing refugees. In Nnewi, the Cool Precious Restaurant for Good Diet is back in business. The breweries are working again, and cold beer goes swiftly at $1 a bottle. The Ibo commercial instinct is reasserting itself everywhere—from the $20-a-night Bristol Hotel in Lagos, where Ibo businessmen throng to re-establish their contacts, to the smallest villages, where young boys sell cigarettes for a few cents' profit. "They have learned a lot from the war," a Yoruba from Nigeria's Western Region told TIME Correspondent James Wilde last week. "They will never try armed force again, but will use their brains instead. This is far more dangerous."
The Yoruba spoke with mingled admiration and apprehension. Three years ago the Ibos established the breakaway nation of Biafra and precipitated Black Africa's worst civil war. When the war ended last January, close to 2,000,000 of them were dead or missing, Biafran Leader Odumegwu Ojukwu was headed for exile in the Ivory Coast, and the Ibo homeland was a shambles. But with the armistice six months old this week, the Ibos appear well on the way to reviving. "They have not been conquered," said the Yoruba. "They have merely cleared the decks to build anew."

Vacuum Cleaners. After Biafra fell, there were fears that many of the surviving 4,000,000 Ibos there would be slaughtered or starved. But there were no sweeping reprisals, and certainly no genocide. When the federal 3rd Marine Commando Division followed the armistice with an outburst of rape and pillage, Major General Yakubu Gowon, leader of Nigeria's government, swiftly replaced the unit. Though Major General Philip Effiong, who surrendered to Gowon, is still in custody, along with a score of other ranking Biafran officials, all other prisoners of war have been sent home. The East Central State, where the Ibos are concentrated, is administered by an Ibo, Anthony Ukpabi Asika, 33, who studied at U.C.L.A., taught at the University of Ibadan, and sided with the federal government in Lagos during the rebellion. But seven of Asika's ten ministers were officials of the secessionist Biafran government.

Despite the swift pace of revival, misery has by no means been banished from the East Central State. Hospitals are short-staffed and overcrowded. Some roads ripped up to slow Nigerian armored cars have not been repaired. Ex-soldiers, known as "vacuum cleaners" because they are so thorough, roam the region stealing from villagers. In Enugu, a businessman explained why he could never reach Lagos by telephone: "Thieves steal the copper telephone lines, melt them down and sell the ingots in Lagos, where they are made into telephone lines."
Starvation is still a major concern, and 200 children are dying each week of malnutrition or the protein deficiency called kwashiorkor that killed thousands during the war. After the armistice, the Nigerian Red Cross and the Federal Commission for Reconstruction quarreled over which should supervise Ibo relief operations; one result was a breakdown in aid. Most of the 300 British and U.S. vehicles rushed in to carry food have either been "diverted" or have stopped running for lack of spare parts. Thousands of tons of relief food rotted on Lagos' docks; eventually stocks of Dutch powdered milk intended for starving children were used to fill road potholes in Port Harcourt.

Barter Economy. Getting supplies into Ibo territory is difficult, because "General" Gowon firmly refuses to open the airstrip at Uli, a symbol of Biafra's resistance. The present alternative, now that Asika's government is taking over relief work from the Nigerian Red Cross, is a creeping system of old cars and trucks, some still carrying bright red Biafran license plates.

The Ibos are as short of cash as they are of food, and a barter trade has developed in which dried salted stockfish frequently takes the place of money. The East Central State government, which cannot run on stockfish, has a budget of approximately $80 million this year, but expects to collect only $14 million in local taxes. One result is that thousands of civil servants will not be paid.

Surviving the Slight. Jobs are still scarce. The once ubiquitous Ibo shopkeeper and market mammy are unwelcome in much of the rest of Nigeria. Before the war, there were 8,000 Ibo civil servants in Lagos; barely 1,000 will get their jobs back. Port Harcourt, center of a thriving oil industry that has already nearly doubled wartime production to 1,100,000 barrels a day, was once 90% Ibo; it is now 100% Rivers tribesmen. But the Ibos seem able to survive the slight. "We are very much like the Jews," said a former Biafran civil servant. "You know what happened to them during World War II. Now they are a force to be reckoned with."

Mothers are for.........

Mothers are for loving you

If you're good or bad.

Mothers are for sharing

Whatever makes you glad.

Mothers are for laughing

At your favorite jokes.

Mothers are for helping you

Get along with folks.

Mothers are for reading

Stories old and new.

Mothers are for teaching you

To always be kind and true.

Mothers are for watching

When you give a play.

Mothers are for clapping

In a happy sort of way.

Mothers are for loving

When you snuggle up so tight.

Mothers are for hugging you

With a sweet good night.

Nduka Enemchukwu . (copyright) May 1994.

Back in 1994, precisely twelve years ago, a few days to mother's day, my son's fifth grade teacher sent home a large envelope with him addressed to me. Being a good student and a good boy overall,Iwas'nt worried about the contents of the envelope. A note inside read it : Dear Mrs Enemchukwu, I thought you may want to keep this, since it's so special, I laminated it for you". I pulled out an 8x10 laminated pink poster paper with a poem on it. The title was " Mothers are for....... and signed and dated by my son Nduka Enemchukwu . He stood there in anticipation, so I read the poem and pulled him close and gave him a big hug for writing such a sweet poem specially for me. I put it away in my scrap book where I put awards or such things from school or sporting events.With our hectic schedule, there was no time for dwelling on the poem at the time.A typical day started with my return from work in the morning and the house buzzing with before school activities. The children would be almost halfway through getting ready for school by the time I get home and we hurry and get everyone out the door and see the bicycle riders off and I take the car riders and the baby to get in the the drop- off line before it becomes too long. Some days the line would be so long that I am usually able to get a good ten to fifteen minute cat nap before it is our turn to drop off. The two year old and I would then hurry home, bathe east breakfast and then proceed totidy up the house quickly . He looked foward to our time together because he had me all to himslf. After breakfast, we would watch for Sesame Street and other of his favorite children's program before we go to sleep. On good days he would let me get up to three hours of sleep, on bad days or when he was sick, it would be off and on cat naps on the couch in between watching Tv, playing or just trying to get over an ear infection or another uncorfortable problem. If I fell asleep in the middle of his favorite show, he would gently try to wake me up for the laughs. Then it's time for afterschool pick ups. First, the three bicycle riders arrive, full of ennrgy and excitement and stories to tell. The pick up line for the two car riders was usually long by the time I got there and the girls were tired and quiet on the ride home after standing in the blazing Florida sun wiating for their turn to be picked up. The evenings were usually spent at practice for Tennis, Basketball, Cross country depending on which sporting event they were involved in at the time. If there was no practice , they played in the yard and usually took the little one and I would manage another hour or two of sleep before homework, dinner and off to work. Even during the week end and Summer, when school was out, getting adequate sleep was a big challenge. Sports practice, YMCA swimming lessons, Tennis tournaments whch sometime took us to Tampa or Fort Lauderdale, Florida kept us on our toes. A few neighbors and friends from church whose children were in the same program, helped out once in a while and gave rides to my children allowing me time to sleep before working the night shift. Two occasions come to mind when I absolutely thought I would lose my mind. The two-year old had surgery, an out patient event that requred us to be at the hospital by seven thirty in the morning. Having no vacation time left, I pleaded with my supervisor to let me bring him to work with me so we could leave from work to his appointment in the morning. My request was granted and I took him to work which made him very happy. Being in an unfamiliar environment, it was difficult for him to settle down and sleep and he kapt demanding something to drink which I could'nt give him becasue he was NPO and was not allowed to eat or drink anything. Calming him down while trying to do my work was a big challenge.We went straight to the hospital from work, about a thirty minute drive and were almost late when we got there, despite the fact that my relief came in early so I could leave. They quickly prepped him and took him to the operating room. I fell asleep in the waiting room and the nurse woke me up when the surgery was over and asked that I come and stay with him in the recovery room. They knew I had worked the night before and gave me a recliner. We slept side by side while the nurses watched us like we were both in recovery. When he came to, they woke me up to hold him because he was crying for pain. They gave him some pain medication and we hung around for another two hours before they discharged us with instructuions and an appoitment slip for follow up.We drove home uneventfully but trouble started when we got home and the little gellow could'nt do all the things he used to do. He got frustrated and cried at the drop of a pin. Carrying him on my back with a wrapper used to work wonders because he enjoyed it, stayed out of trouble and usually fell asleep in no time. This time, I could'nt carry him because of his surgical wound so it was cranky town for the next few days.He cried if any of his siblings approached or touched him. Two days, I called in sick, then I took him to work with me for about three days. We were both relived when his wound healed and he could move around again and do things for himself.Another hairy situation arose one day as I was cooking one hot summer day. Having been raised on beans, I continue to enjoy beans to this day, especially lentils and black beans. They have less carbohydrate and do not cause as much bloating as the black eye beans. I would cook beans (beanse) as my children called it trying to mimmick Nigerians, and serve it with rice and stew or with plantain. Every one enjoyed it. It usally took just a few minutes to cook the beans in a pressure cooker. Even when we made Chili from scatch, we cooked the Kidney beans with the pressure cooker which leaves the beans soft and intact and not mushy as the children describe over cooked food.On that fateful day, we had come back from a morning of tennis practice and every one was exhausted and staying inside, away from the blazing heat. I started dinner early so we can eat and relax a little bit before it was time for work. I started rice in one pot, made stew and then started the beans in the pressure cooker. I sat down on the couch and fell asleep. Then I saw little people jumping up and down in front of me poiting to the kitchen and saying something. I thought I was dreaming. When I finally woke up, I realized something was going on in the kitchen. My children always tease me for burning food because I fell asleep on the couch. They had no idea how to handle this particular situation and I am happy they did'nt try.The loud whistling and hissing of the pressure cooker made me run to the kitchen. I was confused by what I saw. I stood there for a minute trying to figure out how to tackle the problem and the children kept yelling" Mom do something , do something. So I ran towrds the stove to turn off it off. The pressure cooker had blown its top and was sending a steady stream of hot liquid to the ceiling and the hot liquid was raining on the kitchen floor. I slipped on the thick liquid on the floor and landed sitting squarley in it while more rained on my head. I tried to get up, slipped and fell again. My children were dying with laughter and trying so hard to conceal it. Desperate to do something quickly, I crawled on all fours to the stove, reached up and turned it off. The whistling finally subsided and the upward spray stopped. By this time we were all rolling on the floor laughing. I was dripping with bean broth , in my hair, on my arms, on my face. The children kept apologising for laughing at me but it was so funny they could,nt help it. Funny, not really, that pot could have exploded or blown a hole in the ceiling. I never used a pressure cooker again since that close call.The years went by really fast and middle school and high school breezed by and college is also becoming history and sometimes I wonder where the years went.A few days ago, while putting away Aj's High school graduation notice in my scrap book,a pink laminted poster paper fell out and I picked it up and read it and it was the peom from long ago. For the first time,I noticed the rhyme, the thoughtfulness and the simple things that mattered to a ten year old and I was touched. No wonder the teacher laminated it and sent it to me to personally. I called the poet and asked him if he remembered the mother's day peom he wrote for me in fifth grade. " I wrote so many poems in those days Mom" he responded and I remember clearly the little notes he would bring home and I will show my appreciation and just put them aside on the table on night stand. I asked hime if I could share this special poem since he had signed and dated it. He was laughing at how seriously I was taking the copyright issue. I insisted that he copyright it before mother's day and he promised to do just that. With that I felt I had the freedom to share this special poem from a ten year old, now twenty two who thinks the world of his mother and the little things she did and does. My prayer is that he will one day be blessed with that special someone, who will think the world of him and who he will adore as he adores his mother

.To all the single Moms out there, pulling double duty to give their children a normal life, and to all the Dads who are filling Mom's shoes because Mom is winning the bread and is too busy or Mom is simply out to left field, this Poem is for you.

The power of words, and then choices.

By Chinwe Amala Enemchukwu.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."

It is a wonderful thing to know that words are exactly what they are---words; which come out and then evaporate and go with the breeze. Spoken word, that is, will come out and then fade away. Written words can equally be erased or discarded. People hearing or reading words can use words anyway they choose to, take them to heart and react accordingly, or hear them and no matter how bad they are, make a decision even though difficult, to have total control over their reaction to those words.

Painful words, especially when laced with lies can cut as sharp as a knife and inflict such pain. Painful words have driven people to end their lives, to take another person's live or just to go through life feeling less than what God designed them to be. Painful words can kill a human spirit.
Painful words spoken in a competitive setting as in a debate or campaign are best put aside with a handshake at the end of the exercise and left right there.
Rising up above hurtful words and lies which are meant to cut down is a difficult task which if, and when mastered, is an art that brings great joy and peace. The task starts with learning to know and love who one is. Armed with the knowledge that people are made in the image of God and the knowledge that God is not in the business of making garbage or useless creations, it becomes easier to start learning how to take those fiery arrows of hurtful words, lies and half truths in stride. It may be weighing the heart down, with tears stinging the eyes, but as soon as one remembers that whoever is saying or writing these words is not even in control of the air that goes in and out of them to make those words possible, the impact of the arrows start fading away instantly. It starts making it clear that those words may actually be the outlet for inner turmoil and pressure for the speaker or writer. Looking at it that way puts the hearer in a position to switch from being a victim to being a person who extends pity and compassion to the speaker. Blessed are the merciful---- for they shall obtain mercy and the mercy works wonders, wiping off the pain and replacing it with fulfillment and joy and appreciation of God's gifts many of which are taken for granted.

A person who just received the bad news that they may not live to the end of the year will not mind hearing a few bad painful words if that will change their bleak situation. Putting words in their right place, in the air, helps blow them away and if written words, read and erase off the mind and dwell on blessings all around, counting them; good health, sight, hearing, the ability to walk, children, family, to mention a few. In other words, blessings wipe away the impact of hateful words.

Words are powerful. Words can do so many different things. They can edify. They can diminish. Words can unite. They can disperse. Bad, hurtful words have the tendency to destroy but we as humans with the ability to CHOOSE can choose the way we react to words, which includes rising above bad words, trying to put into consideration the speaker of the words and what drives a person to speak or write hurtful words. The focus becomes the source of the words. The best thing becomes to make the choice to let the speaker of the hurtful words off the hook completely. That gets rid of garbage and baggage which can weigh down a person in an unbelievable manner. Such garbage can hold down a person, preventing progress, preventing happiness, stealing peace and fulfillment.

The best thing to do then becomes to choose to let words be just what they are---Words. In one way, out the other.
This Thanksgiving, I am very thankful for the ability to let words be just words and nothing more. God's word never changes and that makes all the difference in the world. Man's words on the other hand, as powerful as they may be are not carved in stone, will not necessarily have real power, unless we let them.

Novenber 2008.

SATURATED FATS, UNSATURATED FATS, TRANS FATS,COOKING OILS and the rest of the Abacha ncha story.

NOVEMBER 15 2008.
SATURATED/UNSATURATED FATS, COOKING OILS, TRANS FATS

A CONTINUATION--And-- CONCLUSION.

Saturated fat and Unsaturated fat are the two main categories of fats that appear in foods. Saturated fat is distinguished from unsaturated fat in that there are no double bonds between carbon atoms in its chemical makeup, so that the fatty acids are saturated with hydrogen.Naturally occurring saturated fat, such as the fat found in animal-based foods, and a few plants namely Palm oil and Coconut oil congeal when cool, while naturally occurring unsaturated fat, such as olive oil, remains fluid.An unsaturated fat is a fat or fatty acid in which there are one or more double bonds in the fatty acid chain. A fat molecule is monounsaturated if it contains one double bond, and polyunsaturated if it contains more than one double bond. Where double bonds are formed,hydrogen atoms are removed,--Thus, a saturated fat is "saturated" with hydrogen atoms.In cellular metabolism hydrogen-carbon bonds are broken down - or oxidized - to produce energy, thus an unsaturated fat molecule contains less energy (i.e fewer calories) than a comparable sized saturated fat.Also, the greater the degree of unsaturation in a fatty acid, the more vulnerable it is to (rancidity (spoiling). That means that saturated fatty acids last longer than unsaturated fatty acids. An oil with saturated fatty acids (palm oil, Coconut oil) will have longer shelf life than an oil with monounsaturated fatty acid (Olive,Peanut,canola),which will in turn have longer shelf life than an oil with polyunsaturated fatty acid (Sunflower,Corn,Safflower, Soy oil ).Saturated fats can become solids (congeal) at room temperature while unsaturated fats are liquid at room temperature. Saturated fat is less likely to spoil than Unsaturated fat.Saturated fats give an unhealthy boost to cholesterol levels while unsaturated fats don't.Saturated fats come from mostly animal sources with the few exceptions already mentioned( palm and coconut oils.) If your cholesterol levels are alright and you live a healthy lifestyle, you don't have to worry too much about these oils.When unsaturated fats are "hydrogenated"--- hydrogen added, ( they become solidified so they resemble butter at room temperature) Examples are margarine and trans fats. That's why butter which is from animal source and has saturated fat is not really worse than margarine, which is from plant source but at the same time, the unsaturated fat has been hydrogenated making it like saturated fat and is now in solid form and equally as bad. They continue to raise cholesterol levels like butter and also they lower the good lipoprotein(HDL) which carries good cholesterol.

To avoid confusing people, the recommendation is as follows:For healthy people who have normal cholesterol and triglyceride levels, who are active and eat a balanced diet, you can use any oil you like, to moderation. Avoid rancid (spoilt oil).
For people with cholesterol and triglyceride problems and cardiovascular disease , avoid oils with saturated fats and also hydrogenated unsaturated fats. These will make matters worse, will actually boost your cholesterol levels. Best choices are Olive, peanut or Canola oil
( monounsaturated) Do not use peanut (groundnut oil) if you are allergic to peanuts.

Despite all the bad rap palm oil receives, it remains a very good oil with a lot going for it. Yes, it has saturated fatty acids but it also contains many potent antioxidants, including beta-carotene, pro-vitamin A carotenoids and tocotreinols, a form of vitamin E. These give it the bright red color and rich flavor. If you love palm oil and have no cholesterol and wieght problems, by all means continue to enjoy it, especially in Abacha ncha and as long as you don't use too much of it or use spoilt rancid oil.
Coconut oil has been hailed for it's benefits for the skin, hair, weight loss, increased immunity, stress relief, to mention a few. These benefits of coconut oil can be attributed to the presence of lauric acid, capric acid and caprylic acid, and its properties such as antimicrobial, antioxidant, anti fungal, antibacterial, and emollient.

The Trans-fat story:
When consumers became aware of the drawbacks of saturated fats and started trying to avoid them, food makers made a quick brilliant change. The saturated fats---- palm oil, coconut oil , animal fat were replaced with trans-fats which are actually unsaturated oils to which hydrogen atoms have been added ( hydrogenation) making them like saturated fats like butter, animal fat or solid palm oil, to be used in baked goods and margarine. The baked goods with trans fats also had long shelf lives. On the label, the fat did not show and people were deceived thinking the products were fat-free. It took the Obesity epidemic for this practice to be exposed. Nowdays, the trans fats are also listed on the label.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:
1. When a product is labelled " Cholesterol Free", it may still be loaded with fat.
CHOLESTEROL and FAT are not synonymous ( the same).
Fat is for Energy.
Cholesterol has numerous functions some of which were mentioned in the first part of this write up.
A good example of food with zero cholesterol but plenty of fat is the Avocado, which is cholesterol- free but is still packed with unsaturated fat

Saturated fats tend to cling together and form artery-clogging plaques like cholesterol while unsaturated fats are larger and slide past each other, leaving blood vessels clear. In other words, unsaturated fats will not clog your arteries, but you will still gain weight with too much of them.

CONCLUSION:
The name of the game is using these oils in moderation, and not going over the daily fat requirement in your diet by maintaining a balanced diet and being active, with regular exercise and getting enough sleep.
Being in a good mood also helps keep you healthy. Some Endorphin boosters (endogenous morphine) which your body releases for good mood, makes you feel good, (high ) are hot pepper,( believe it or not), thinking positive thoughts, laughter,exercise, dark chocolate, sunlight -exposure,massage therapy, Orgasm.

Ps: If you have ulcers or are allergic to pepper, then avoid it. Other than that hot pepper in addition to being an endorphin booster, helps clear stuffy noses, and helps in many other ailments---http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/cayenne.htm

CE

Tryglycerides, Hypertriglyceridemia, Fats and the Abacha ncha story

What are triglycerides?
Triglycerides are the chemical form in which most fat exist in food as well as in the body. They're also present in blood plasma and, in association with cholesterol, form the plasma lipids.Triglycerides in plasma are derived from:
1. fats eaten in foods or,
2. made in the body from other energy sources like carbohydrates.
Calories ingested in a meal and not used immediately by tissues are converted to triglycerides and transported to fat cells to be stored. Hormones regulate the release of triglycerides from fat tissue so they meet the body's needs for energy between meals.

How is an excess of triglycerides harmful?

Excess triglycerides in plasma is called hypertriglyceridemia. It's linked to the occurrence of coronary artery disease in some people. Elevated triglycerides may be a consequence of other disease, such as untreated diabetes mellitus.


American Heart Association Recommendations —

Dietary treatment goals:

Changes in lifestyle habits are the main therapy for hypertriglyceridemia.
These are the changes you need to make:
If you're overweight, cut down on calories to reach your ideal body weight. This includes all sources of calories, from fats, proteins, carbohydrates and alcohol.
Reduce the saturated fat, trans fat and cholesterol content of your diet.
Reduce your intake of alcohol considerably. Even small amounts of alcohol can lead to large changes in plasma triglyceride levels.
Eat fruits, vegetables and nonfat or low-fat dairy products most often.
Get at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity on five or more days each week.

People with high triglycerides may need to substitute monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats —such as those found in canola oil, olive oil or liquid margarine — for saturated fats ( palm oil,coconut oil animal fat).
Substituting carbohydrates for fats may raise triglyceride levels and may decrease HDL ("good") cholesterol in some people.
Substitute fish high in omega-3 fatty acids for meats high in saturated fat like hamburger.
Because other risk factors for coronary artery disease multiply the hazard from hypertriglyceridemia, control high blood pressure and avoid cigarette smoking.
Even if drugs like statins are used to treat high triglyceride levels (hypertriglyceridemia) dietary management is still important.

It is important to note that fats are essential for life. The body stores away fat for a source of energy reserve. This stored energy is tapped into when the body exerts itself by performing physical activities. Energy is utilized when we do vigourous work such as wood chopping or tedious farm work. The body taps into the fat deposits when such vigorous work is done. Between meals, energy from fat stores is carefully regulated and released by the built in system in the body.

The problems with fat in recent years result from lack of exercise and vigorous activity. Sedentary lifestyle is the norm today and the results in excess fat stores. Vigorous exercise as in bicycling and trecking long distances and activities already mentioned, such as our past generations used to do. Such exercise burns fat and helps eliminate excess fat.

How does Very High Triglycerides affect your health ?

Triglycerides can build up on the walls of certain blood vessels, called arteries.This build-up can make them narrow.Narrowed arteries slow or block blood flow to the heart.Blood brings needed oxygen to the heart. High triglycerides can lead to hardening of your arteries.They can also lead to thickening of your artery walls. This can raise your risk of stroke, heart attack, and heart disease.It can also lead to pancreatitis, an inflammation of the pancreas, a very painful and dangerous condition.Some people might be at greater risk for very high triglycerides because they have other serious health problems like:

High blood pressure
High cholesterol
Obesity.

------To be continued with---

Saturated Fats, Unsaturated (mono and poly unsaturated) Fats, Trans Fats, COOKING OILS and the rest of the Abacha ncha story.

COOKING OILS, FAT, CHOLESTEROL, AND THE REST OF THE (ABACHA NCHA) STORY.

Recently, there were exchanges on this forum on cooking oil, the various kinds, the benefits and drawbacks. Abancha ncha,( an Igbo delicacy made with dry,shredded cassava, lightly rehydrated to leave it crunchy mixed with dried fish, ugba, other delicious ingredients all of which are then tossed in a dressing made with palm oil,water and akanwu), was discussed at length. In addition to palm oil, coconut oil was mentioned.In this article, I intend to shed some light on the FATS which are the problems with some of these oils. Olive oil, canola oil, Soy oil, Sunflower oil, peanut or groundnut oil are some of the other cooking oils. Some fruits we like are high in fats, for example the melon seed we love in Egusi soup. Avocados are high in fat, but not bad for us. There is always a good and a bad side to most things in life. Fats are no exception. Fats are necessary for life. All these will be discussed here.

The general belief is that fats are bad for you. As common as this belief is, it is simply not true. Cholesterol is the most feared of all and because of that, I will start with cholesterol and work to the triglycerides, saturated and unsaturated fats, trans fats and then zero in on cooking oils and where and how they rank.
This article will therefore be in sections which will be put out as time permits.

It is a well known fact that cholesterol is capable of clogging arteries resulting in arteriosclerosis which leads to heart disease, strokes, heart attacks and a variety of other diseases. Cholesterol, despite the above, is very essential to health and living. Up to two thirds of your body's cholesterol is produced in the liver and the intestine. It is a normal constituent of bile. Cholesterol is also found in the brain, adrenal, and nerve fiber sheaths. Cholesterol is very good when it is good cholesterol. Cholesterol functions in these areas:

1. In the skin, cholesterol is converted to essential vitamin D when touched by the ultraviolet rays of the sun.

2. Cholesterol aids in the metabolism of Carbohydrates. When we eat carbohydrates (sugar,glucose) it gets in the cells to produce energy), the excess glucose is converted to glycogen which is then converted to fat and stored.( More details later.) Cholesterol transports fat to cells.The more carbohydrates you eat, the more cholesterol is produced
.
3. Cholesterol is a major supplier of life essential adrenal- steroid hormones such as cortisone.

4. Cholesterol is necessary for the production of male and female sex hormones. It is a component of every membrane.

To be transported around, cholesterol is bound to protein. The differences in the actions of cholesterol depend on the protein to which it is bound. Lipoproteins are the factors in the blood which transport cholesterol.

There are two kinds of Lipoproteins-- --- High Density Lipoproteins (HDL, also known as good cholesterol) and Low Density Lipoprotein (LDL, also known as bad cholesterol). There is also Very Low Density lipoprotein (VLDL) which are the substances the liver needs to produce Low Density lipoproteins.

The various Lipoproteins:

1. The Low Density Lipoproteins (LDL) carry about sixty percent of blood cholesterol and are bad because they deposit cholesterol in arteries , where it joins with other substances to become PLAQUE , the artery blocker (causes stroke, heart attack).

1b.
The Very Low Density Lipoproteins (VLDL) control the amount of LDL produced by the liver. The more of them in the body, the more LDL the liver sends out, the more your chances of having heart disease.
2.
High Density Lipoproteins (HDL) carry about twenty percent of blood cholesterol and is composed of mainly lecithin which are good agents whose detergent actions breaks up plaque and can transfer cholesterol through blood without clogging arteries. They are therefore the good guys and are referred to as good cholesterol. The higher the levels, the better for health.

Recent studies have shown that people with big hips and trim waists
( pear shaped) have higher levels of HDL than people with pot bellies,( beer bellies,rich man's belly) apple shaped. Refer back to METABOLIC SYNDROME. This shows why females generally live about eight years longer than men. The higher your HDL, the lower your chances of developing heart disease.

To be continued-----

Triglycerides, Saturated vs Unsaturated fats, Mono vs poly unsaturated fats, Trans-Fats, Cholesterol levels, cooking oil---coming next.

TILL DEATH DO US PART- - - - ---and somebody to lean on.

My parents, pictured after the church service where they renewed their vows at the celebration of their sixtieth wedding anniversary on Christmas eve, 2005.
I just thought about them as their anniversary
draws near again.
( I look a lot like my Pa, actually like his mother, I was told) When I was little, people would tease him saying---- I gbolu nwa gi nke a n'onu) Also got his carefree nature and keen sense of humour.

Watching my parents, Joseph and Mercy Odunukwe at the celebration of their 60th wedding anniversary, I couldn't help but grasp the full meaning of the phrase----- till death do us part. There we have these two, who have been around each other for so long that they can read each other's body language and most probably mind. At ninety three years old at the anniversary celebration my father looked sharp in his suit.

He had married sixty years earlier after putting in years at Dennis Grammar School Onitsha. He is most likely the oldest surviving old boy. Then it was to Awka College and then to Umudike College of Agriculture. He was finally ready to settle down. He married his best friend's cousin, Mercy Onyemelukwe, a shy but strong willed school teacher who was still nursing the grudge of not being able to attend Elelenwa girls school which had accepted her but there were no funds. She was not really thrilled about getting married but that was what she was supposed to do. Her sisters still tell stories of their anxiety over the possibility of her not showing up at the wedding and their big sigh of relief when they heard her say----"I do." A particular aunt always loves to tell of her surprise at seeing my mother some months after the wedding looking as if she was in the family way, and then she went on to a total of eleven children and being together with Jos, as they call my father, for sixty years.

My parents had embarked on a mission working for the Anglican church all over Igboland, starting from Ihiala, on to the deep riverine areas of Delta State, through Igbodo, back across the river Niger to other parts of Igboland with a service which spanned many decades. My mother stopped teaching to focus on their young children and other children who were for the most part brought to them to be straightened out. She was and is still fast with the whip, more like a drill Sergeant who would rip you up quickly with words and follow with a whipping. My siblings and I always tease her that she was lucky she did all that spanking in those days and not in today's setting especially in America and the civilized world, she would probably be sitting in jail somewhere. We remain very grateful though, for the strict discipline and the way she drilled fractions and grammar into us whether we liked it or not. My mother would with- hold lunches until the owners finished every chore or bookwork she assigned to them and if anybody tried to play tough, she would give the food away to the bunch of " Oliver Twists" who would gladly grab it and devour it. When one of my brothers had too much trouble with long division and fractions, she kept him home from school until he learned his fractions and long division and today he is in a profession where he works with numbers on a daily basis.

While she worked the home front, my father worked as the Headmaster and Agricultural officer for the church districts they served. In addition to their work, they assisted the church Pastor and his wife in their duties. This meant that the life of the family rotated around church, school and farm and life was always busy and it was always all hands on deck. Everything was every body's business. Everybody looked out for each other despite the fights and sibling rivalry. Everybody was in every body's business. For my parents, the name of the game was team work and they worked very hard together, complementing each other so well that people sometimes termed it weakness on my father's part because he and my mother echo each other and discuss everything and know where each other is and what they are doing at any given time. The trust and openness is simply complete. The openness was extended to the children. Everybody got the respect they deserved, male or female. Being around such calmness and loyalty for so long resulted in people taking it that life goes like that around everybody else, resulting in some rude and hard life lessons. From my observation, my parent's success is from a combination of total openess and trust which built their unspoken love over the years.

Being humans, they each have their faults but they manage to learn how to get around those faults. My father is very laid back. He does not allow things to bother him and my mother takes it as being non chalant about things. When I was younger, I would worry when my father would ask us to get a whip for our mother so she would spank him. I later learned that it was his way of telling her to be quiet after she had talked and whined for too long about something he did or did not do. Even to this day when she goes on and on, he would simply say------" bia j'enu kwatalu nne unu itali, k'opia m." That kind of wraps it up for her. Asking for a spanking was his way of saying he was wrong and he was sorry. Then she would change the subject.

On her part, her carelessness gets to my father sometimes. She leaves things around, losing them and then would turn everything upside down searching. He would stay out of the searching and just mind his business because he may end up being blamed when something else is missing from the pile made from the previous search. Each time I go home, I help my mother straighten her room, but before I leave it would be like a beehive again and she functions very well in there, actually I think she functions better that way.She is not dirty or anything like that. She just likes having her clothes, shoes, headties, handbags, books and everything else on the bed, table and chairs in her room. She would actually plead to a helper to leave things where they are because she knows where everything is. It is always a search for the record books of the various women's meetings she serves as secretary and for some other documents she keeps for them. In a hurry to find these things, she would dump the suitcases and drawers in her room on her bed for a quicker search. My father would look in there, scratch his head and let her be until she was done searching and straightening things up. His room, adjacent to hers is the exact opposite with everything set up just like his days as a teacher, his office was always orderly.

In old age, they seem to be depending on each other's strength more than ever. She is stronger physically now and he relies a lot more on her and she takes care of him very well. He helps as much as he can both in and outside the house. In the mornings, he would get his exercise by going out and around the compound to gather yellow cassava leaves and other leaves to feed the goats and then give them water. The activity helps keep him physically fit for his age. While he is doing this morning chore, she makes him breakfast. He is still stronger emotionally, still not letting anything bother him or interfer with his sleep. I have never heard this two tell each other----" I love you." but each time I am around them, I hear it in every move they make. They don't even think about it but it's all there and I just watch in awe. I always remember the promise-----till death do us part--- and I pray that the good Lord will watch over and hold whichever of them is left behind until the end of the journey. That God will be that Somebody to lean on.

METABOLIC SYNDROME------INSULIN RESISTANCE-----SYNDROME X-------PRE-DIABETES= BAD NEWS.

A re- posting from April 2006:


Body shape can mean a lot in the overall health of an individual. Fat distribution around the body varies in people and in the same token spells the difference in health and quality of life. Medical researchers have found that body shape plays a significant role in a person's health. They describe two body shapes: Apple and Pear. Being plump around the middle (apple) and being plump around the hips (pear).There is a world of difference between the two. Whatever it is called, spare tire, love handles, pot belly, beer belly, it is shaping up to be a big risk factor for one of the deadliest health issues today. Having an apple shaped figure puts you at risk of developing Metabolic syndrome.

METABOLIC SYNDROME:
If you are plump around the middle, have high blood pressure, abnormal cholesterol, a tendency toward high blood sugar and slothy habits, you might have Metabolic syndrome.

Metabolic syndrome, Insulin resistance syndrome, Pre-diabetes, syndrome X, or the deadly quartet, Metabolic syndrome is not really a disease in itself, rather it is a cluster of related symptoms that greatly increases diabetes risk by up to five fold, and hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis and cardiovascular disease) by up to three times . There is more than one cause of metabolic syndrome, and the seriousness varies from individual to individual. The more components of the syndrome that one has, the greater the risks to their health. Women make up to a quarter of those with metabolic syndrome.
There is on going debate whether metabolic syndrome is an actual medical condition or if more understanding is needed before it can be diagnosed and treated.Metabolic syndrome is more common among Black people and Hispanics.

Lifestyle and Risk Factors.
Life style factors play a huge role in whether a person develops metabolic syndrome, so do genetics. Consuming foods high in saturated fats and cholesterol and inactivity put one at greater risk. Increase in age also increases one's risk for metabolic syndrome.More than half of people 60 and over fit the picture for having the syndrome.


Maintaining a healthy body weight is something Americans ( which now includes us) struggle with on a daily basis. Some people struggle with various diets and some get discouraged and give up. With unhealthy food beckoning from every angle coupled with inactivity and lack of exercise many people drag around pounds they have no business carrying.
Research has shown that the body's 24 -hour internal clock, which regulates sleep and hunger, plays a very important role in healthy weight maintenance.
A recent study published in the Journal, Science showed that a faulty or misaligned body clock can wreak havoc on the body and its metabolism, increasing the risk for obesity and diabetes and putting a person at risk for metabolic syndrome. Night shift and odd shift workers should take note of this. Getting enough sleep and exercise should not be taken lightly.

Avoid by all means having any of the components of metabolic syndrome. If you already have any, work hard to eliminate them and prevent developing new ones. The best prevention is a healthy lifestyle, which includes adequate physical activity and a HEALTHY diet.

Some hints:
1. Thirty minutes of moderately intense exercise like brisk walking, bicycle riding (even stationary) most days of the week helps.Walking up and down the steps several times a day will help.Consult your doctor if you already have any issues before embarking on any exercise program. Small weight losses of 10% over a year will improve one's health.

2.Eat foods low in saturated fats, trans fats,cholesterol,sodium and sugar. Some of our Nigerian diet are very high in cholesterol.
If you smoke, STOP as soon as possible. Smoking has been shown to increase Insulin resistance and worsen the impact of metabolic syndrome.

In addition to lifestyle changes, your doctor may recommend medication for instance high cholesterol will call for statins to bring your cholesterol levels down.For high blood pressure, anti hypertensives such as diuretics, (ACE) angiotensin converting enzyme inhibitors, calcium channel blockers and beta blockers can be used.
One may be asked to take low dose aspirin daily to reduce the chances of clot formation which may lead to stroke and heart attack. People with pre diabetes and diabetes may get metformin and other drugs (Thalizolidinediones) which are used to decrease insulin resistance.

Many of us do not visit the doctor unless we become too sick to function. This is very unhealthy and dangerous. Annual physicals and visits to a doctor is a must. Heaven helps those who help themselves.

Cut back on FOOD and ALCOHOL. Avoid fast food for yourselves and your children. EXERCISE! EXERCISE!! EXERCISE!!!. Take brisk walks together as a family especially if the children have weight problems. Monitor your blood pressure regularly. Most drug stores and supermarkets have free self screening machines available. Take your daily vitamins.
First and foremost: Pay a doctor a visit and discuss all of the above.
For more nformation go to these sites http://www.diabetes.org/http://www.americanheart.org/vytorin.com
National Institutes of Health: http://hin.nhlbi.nih.gov/


Practical suggestions for everyday situations extracted from the write up above are as follows.

1. Having a pot or beer belly is a very bad thing. It shows you may be in the early stages of diabetes,may be very overweight, may have high cholesterol which may make your blood vessels block and make you have a stroke or heart attack.
The condition may make you resistant to insulin which your body creates naturally to breakdown sugar and the result will be you having high blood sugar.
Your blood pressure may also be on the high side because you are carrying around too much weight which makes your heart overwork itself with disastrous effects.
Your sex life may be affected too by these conditions.
Over eating and eating food high in fat (trans fat) bad fat and too much drinking of alcohol lead to this condition.

Having a BIG BELLY is not a sign of wealth, rather it is a sign of ill health and impending early death or disability. Cut back on fatty food, red meat, alcohol and fried food and eat more proteins, vegetables, chicken, fish ( the things village folks ate in days gone by). Eat to moderation.
AVOID USING OLD OIL for frying.

If you already have an apple shape ( BEER BELLY), are overweight (fat) and have high blood pressure, high blood sugar or one or more of those, you can improve things by changing things today---- loose weight, exercise, reduce alcohol intake and stay in touch with your doctor
There are different medications to help which the doctor will prescribe, but the most important thing is to understand the seriousness of Metabolic Syndrome and do something about it.

What has food got to do with it? Part 3

OMEGA-3/ESSENTIAL FATTY ACIDS/ FISH OIL: The Health Benefits in children.

Diet and eating habits from early childhood impact our lives in every aspect. In this section, I will discuss the importance of Essential fatty acids in young children .
We want our children to be little healthy geniuses to the best of our abilities. All these can be achieved with discipline and commitment and many diseases can be kept at bay. To develop healthy eating habits takes a lot of discipline , but once the habit is formed, it usually sticks. Longevity and sharp mental capacity have been linked to healthy eating habits and diet.

Omega -3 fatty acids, also called Fish oil or Essential fatty acids are found in fish. Salmon is an excellent source of it which is also easily available, although expensive. I will discuss the controversy over farm raised Salmon and Salmon caught in the wild, later in this write up.

Essential fatty acids play a role in reducing levels of bad cholesterol and increasing levels of good cholesterol.

The benefits of these essential fatty acids cannot be over emphasized. In children, they are shown to be essential for the following;

* Brain Development

*Eye Development

*Healthy Joints

*Mental Clarity

*General Health, Growth, Development

* Heart Health

The above are all VERY IMPORTANT health benefits for your children. It is imperative you make sure that your children get these benefits through supplementation or diet. With the controversy over farm grown Salmon and wild Salmon, many people shy away from buying Salmon, but Omega-3 fatty acids can be obtained in soft capsule forms, chewable soft gel and even liquid forms. Directions for use are clearly displayed on these products.

During childhood days, I remember being made to take Seven seas Cod Liver oil which I seriously hated. It did not taste very good at all and then having it mixed in food was one way of making sure it was consumed. Our ancestors, in their great wisdom gave children chunks of smoked fish for snacks and treats. Those were loaded with essential fatty acids,protein and fiber versus the SUGAR BULLETS called candy people feed their children today coupled with fast food and junk food and artificial drinks loaded with sugar, which set them up for obesity, Dental decay, metabolic syndrome and the busload of problems associated with these conditions.

The Cod Liver oil of childhood days was viscous and had a lousy taste. Nowadays, they have good tasting fish oil products made by Seven seas and other companies like Nordic naturals. These products are available in health food stores and vitamin shops.

Children's nutritional needs change as they grow. It is essential that they get the right amount of Omega- 3 fatty acids for proper development, physically and mentally, especially in this day and age when fast food and other junk food are thrown at children around the clock on television, radio and on Billboards. Supplementation with Omega-3 fatty acids is of utmost importance for children.

Next, I will discuss the benefits of Omega-3 fatty acids in adults and their role in healthy aging.

TO BE CONTINUED.

BETTY, CATCH AM.

Air Raid Betty------Continued.


Betty did her job as Air Raid Marshall with class. She always felt great when the crisis was over. We took her vigilance and dedication for granted at the time but looking back now, I realize how Betty gave us ample time to hide and take cover before the jets came on their killing and maiming spree. How much that helped, I will never know, but from what I have learned from watching deputy sheriffs chase criminals by air in rural Lake County Florida where I live, those bomber and fighter jets had bird's eye views of the ground as they came down so low. They must have seen their targets scurrying around trying to hide.
We always were able to hide before the planes came within view. When the air raids were over, Betty was usually her happy self again.

Betty enjoyed other odd jobs around the house. She was very energetic and did everything with gusto.
She was a farm hand too.The goats, sheep, chickens, sometimes got in trouble with Betty. Then, there were the wild life who always turned up to help themselves to the crops and livestock, especially the fowls, in the backyard outside the compound. Hawks and other predatory birds were sometimes bold enough to swoop down to grab chicks inside the compound. Betty would dash out barking as the hen screamed at the hawk in protest.
Betty soon mastered how to keep everybody in line. Face offs with wild critters in the backyard were always brought to our attention by Betty's wild barking from the backyard.

Our home stead was on the outskirts of a dry virgin scrubland covered with saw grass (ata), which were so sharp they slashed whatever came in contact with the blade-like leaves. There were Chaleku/icheku tress which made delicious fruit snacks, and araba/ahaba, which had stems which were were popular as support for yam crops. These were called alulu. In these bushes lived a wide variety of wild life. Patridges (Okwa), large rodents like (Nchi), and smaller (Ogini and Nkakwu) were abundant back there. So also were snakes, venomous and non-venomous. Betty loved to chase whatever showed up too close to the back gate. We always worried about Betty being bitten by a venomous snake back there. Years later, Betty died from a snake bite when she was much older and probably couldn't get out of the way fast enough as a snake lounged at her.

The domesticated animals learned two words of pigin English from their experience with Betty. "Catch-Am" which means Catch him, Catch her or Catch it was understood by humans and animals alike. When that command was yelled, things happened and happened quickly, too quickly to an unsuspecting observer who had never witnessed it before.
If some of the goats or sheep broke out and were attacking the crops, and they heard the command, they would stop in their tracks, do a double take,and bolt off back to their pens. If the gate was closed, they would break in from where they broke out in the first place. Even the chickens understoood the command. They would get excited and clack loudly and then run and fly at the same time to get away. To these animals, Catch-Am meant a black and white dog, chasing them, barking excitedly. Betty really enjoyed giving the chase and would sometimes leap in the air to bring down a rooster or hen as they tried to get briefly airborne to get away.

Betty would equally grab a goat or sheeep by the hind legs to bring them down following a furious chase. The animal would be panting and crying out with fear as Betty held them down.That was all Betty did though, she would hold the animal down, wagging her tail and breathless, until the animal was retrieved from her. She was usually very proud of the catch.

Sometimes when the command was yelled, Betty might be asleep in the house and would not have heard it. If Betty heard the command, she would shoot out of the house like a bullet and give chase, sometimes in the wrong direction, only to suddenly make a ground scratching halt, turn around to locate whatever she was supposed to chase and catch. She would then take off after it barking. The chase and catch game were routine entertainment.

Betty would stop an unknown visitor in their tracks with her barking and then run around in circles waiting for the command. No humans were ever chased although Betty would bare her teeth and raise the hair on her back and tail, if an unfriendly looking visitor showed up or if a family member seemed to be challenged by a person unknown to the dog. At times like that, Betty really had to be restrained or taken inside to calm down.

It was a different ball game with wild life which had their encounters in the back yard with Betty who would slip back there through the hole in the compound wall made for the chickens to come and go. Betty's adventures in the backyard were different. She knew she was not supposed to be back there. The only time she would really let anybody know she was back there was when she got in trouble or faced danger. Her furious barking would draw attention and we would call for her to come in. If she refused, that meant that she had encountered something she wanted us to see.
On some occasions, Betty was back there in a face off with a snake with head puffed and raised in a striking position. Betty would back off when called. Occasionally the snake would be killed. Once, a viper was killed that way, only to watch as small baby vipers ate through her and came wiggling out. It was so overwhelming and scarry that the snake had to be set on fire to kill all the venomous critter emerging from her. I was not present but learned that those present counted about fifty baby snakes when it was over. I also learned that vipers and some other species and also scorpions hatch their eggs inside the mother which then dies as the babies eat or bite their way out of her. I have not witnessed this myself.
A cobra was once spotted on a palm tree close to the compound in the backyard, following one of Betty's furious barking in the backyard. The snake had a bright red growth on its head, similar to a rooster's crest and it made a scarry noise. My father was not home and my mother sent for a neighbor, Ezeugonna who had a double barrel gun to come and shoot the snake. I don't remember if the snake was shot or if it got away. All I recall is being petrified with fear and staying away from the backyard for a while. We used to be back there collecting chaleku, Utu,
Uni, ( sweet wild berries and fruits), and even Elo/Ero (mushrooms).

To be continued.

Talking about scorpions, there were scorpions everywhere in those days and people occassionally got stung. Betty never got stung because she always smelled them and would start barking at the spot where the scorpion was waiting with stinger up.

AIR RAID BETTY----DOWN MEMORY LANE.

Betty, short for Elizabeth, was the name we picked for our new puppy during the war. Many dogs in those days were named after the enemies of the Republic. It was very satisfying to call those names and see a dog come running, tail wagging furiously.
Betty was the best dog we ever had. We always had pets, cats, dogs pigeons and other domestic animals. From what I know now, Betty must have been a Cocker Spaniel mix, black and white with floppy ears and a brown spot over each eye. Her hair was not too long like a typical spaniel. Betty behaved almost like a human maybe because she was alwyas around humans especially children. Many years later after I had left home and received news of Betty's death I had shed tears for her because she was almost like a little sister.
I remember clearly when my Aunt Ifeoma brought the puppy to our house at Christmas. We, my siblings and I were very happy. The baby at the time was too big to be carried around or tied to the back with a wrapper. Schools were out because of the war and we didn't really have too much to do after doing farm work and chores. Playing with Betty was an excellent outlet. We carried her around like a baby,sometimes dressed in clothes. My younger siblings would tie her ears together with pieces of rags for ribbons. They tied her to the back with a wrapper like a baby and she would sit there, paws in the air patiently bearing it. If she was occupied on a back or laps, and somebody else wanted to get her down for another event, she would look as if to say-------"Can I finish with this assignment first?" and she would quietly go to the next rotation which could be doing a dance routine, twist or atilogwu. One of Betty's dance songs went like this ------- a-betty nwa m ---o hmm, nwa m-o hmm, and she would start doing the twist.
Betty did it all gracefully. She never complained. I think she really enjoyed being the center of attention. She got rewarded for her patience in a way because she always received food favours from people who tried to be her favourite human, and Betty played along very well.

Visitors who came to the house would exclaim----"Nkita Oyibo--" the name for foreign breeds of dogs, usually characterized by floppy ears, bushy tails and longer hair than the local pedigree which were looked down on and referred to as "Eke Uke" simply because they were local and easily available in markets like eke Uke. Those Eke uke would fetch a handsome sum of money where people know the value of pedigree dogs like Chihuahuas. Betty was a beautiful dog and she got spoiled quickly. She must have believed she was human. She took naps in all the beds in the house. If it rained and the brush was wet, she eased herself in the middle of the yard where she would not get wet and when it was noticed, she would take off with her head lowered and her tail between her hind legs, admitting her shame for what she did. Next time it rained, Betty did it again. It became well known that Betty hated getting wet. Getting to give her a bath was a chore which had to be done from time to time since she was indoors a lot and got in beds.
Being around humans so much, Betty picked up on many human habits. She was very smart and picked up on things quickly. She quickly learned that the big monsters in the air which occasionally came roaring out of nowhere caused a lot of anxiety and distress in humans. These bomber and fighter jets would come unannounced and drop bombs or spray bullets at houses, churches, market places, killing or hurting people from time to time.
The sound of them always sent people scurrying for cover in bushes, against trees, under beds, tables or in bunkers. Very few families had bunkers. We usually ran inside and took cover under the big dining table or under the beds until the air raid was over. Betty always picked up the sound a good minute or so before anybody heard it. She would sit up straight, move her ears like radars and once the sound was confirmed, she would start whimpering aloud to get attention. While doing this, she may wet herself or be trembling with fear, her tail between her legs. Once she got the attention she needed, she would wait for reaction which was usually dramatic. Whoever noticed that Bettywas trying to warn about an air raid usually raised an alarm, shouting and calling out for everybody to take cover. There would be desperate scrambling to get into the house and take cover. Those too far from the house would usually dive into the bushes or flatten themselves on a tree trunk if they were out in the open. Betty would then join the mad dash for safety.She loved to be closest to the wall under the bed or under the table.
For some reason everybody felt safer inside the house which really did not make any sense because if the house was hit, it would have been over but who had time to think that way. Betty would hang on when anyone tried to push her aside. Those were the only times I saw Betty get angry at family members and snap or growl with a desperate look in her eyes. Then all went quiet when the airplanes zoom back and forth doing their grizzly jobs. Desperate whispered prayers filled the air as explosion after explosion was heard sometimes alternated with the sound of sprayed bullets ----kpa- kpa- kpa- kpa- kpa- kpa--- followed by loud booms of explosives. Sometimes, the attacks went on for a while and they always sounded so close but they were usually miles away. Sometimes, the attackers would leave, reload and come back within minutes.Those were very stressful days.
Betty would remain calm as long as everybody was calm. If anybody got overwhelmed and started crying or praying out loud, Betty would start howling and increase the volume to match the crying or prayer.
The reaction was always----- " Betty, mechie onu, osiso or Betty, com'on shut up." That would stress her even more and she would whimper really loud and look around from face to face as if looking for comfort. Her eyes would turn red. I learned later that dogs did not shed tears but the eyes would turn red when they would actually be crying. After the air raid, and the coast was clear, Betty would be very happy and go around from person to person wagging her tail vigorously almost as if to congratulate everybody for having survived the ordeal.---
To continued

The Secret of working together

Good movies with good talents and morals are very hard to come by nowadays and that implies going back to the oldies, classic movies of the thirties, forties, fifties and a few sixties and seventies. These are always fun to watch and (TCM) Turner Classic Movies serves these up daily with a brief introduction from the host and his guest for the night. It is always a delight to watch these with no commercial interruption, and on a big screen, it's almost like watching it in the theater.
A few days ago, they showed a very funny movie based in Italy towards the end of WW 11. I had watched this movie many years ago, but it was still as if I had never seen it before. But this time, it wasn't just the comedy part of it but the lesson in the plot---the strength of the human spirit and how far it can go when pooled together.

The people of the village of Santa Vittoria under their Mayor, Italo Bombolini, had to protect the one thing that held them together as a people --- WINE. The German troops who were withdrawing after Mussolini was hung were grabbing whatever they could on their way out, and word got to Santa Vittoria that they may visited, Bombolini got his men together and they decided quickly what to do about cooperative merchandise-----the wine, over one million bottles of it hidden in a large cellar must be hidden from the Germans, not all of it though, enough would be left to make it look like they were all there. Word spread and everybody got involved.

They got to work and finally moved all the wine, one bottle at a time up the winding hills to an old Roman cave. The wine moved through the hands of the villagers, one bottle passed from hand to hand up the winding hills to the cave.

When the Germans arrived, not even a revolver to Bombolini's head in private or in front of the whole village would make any of them reveal the secret. They were there, silent, going about their business, young, old, male, female, lovers, everybody, together in this resolve to save their means of livelihood and cooperative venture------the WINE.

At the end of it all, when the Germans were leaving in frustration, Bombolini offered the Captain a fine bottle of Santa Vittoria wine and assured him that there were more bottles from where that came, about one million of them. This was after firmly repeating that there was no wine left, even at gun point.

As the Captain angrily drove off, the sea of faces with firm lips broke into song and the whole village broke into jubilation and dancing led by their ebullient mayor Italo Bombolini and his previously enstranged wife. The End-------Lesson from this:


Working together yields incredible results for the benefit of all. Doing the opposite leaves people in a mess, the kind of which surrounds us (Ndi Igbo), both at home and in the diaspora.

FAMILY TIMES LAST A LIFETIME.

Family times: 1. Snowed in on a Sunday morning.
2. After church on a beautiful spring day 3.Arriving at a wedding. 4. In the park after church. 5. Parked too far. Can we go now?
6&7: Say Ch-e-e-s-e
8. Fun time at a wedding.




In this day and age when life is a bustle, there is hardly time to spend with family anymore. Over the years, even with the advent of new gadgets to make life easier, life continues to get more complicated, robbing families of quality time.
It is well known that children who spent quality time, no matter how short with siblings and with their parents as a family grow up to be stable and confident adults. They get along with each other better, and with others and continue to enjoy family time into their old age. Foundations laid in childhood lead into adulthood and sustains into late life. The memories linger as new memories are made.

Sundays used to be the best days for quality family time. During the days of the blue laws, when stores and businesses were closed on Sundays by law, families were compelled to enjoy time together, lounging in the house, going together to their house of worship, to the park or to do any fun activity to spend the day together. All of these have changed today.

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend and inspiration, Arunne, who I had not spoken to for a few weeks. She was busy as usual and listed all the guests she had had recently, her bothers and their spouses,her son and his wife and I couldn't help thinking what a blast she must be having. I understand first hand what a joy it is to be with family and have fun together. It is something I get to do very often.It is refreshing, life sustaining and habit forming. The bible says in psalm-133 vs 1-----" How good it is for brethren to dwell together in harmony" (Le k'osi di nma but mbiko (nmeko) nke umu nne) To some people, it is gauche because they were not raised that way, to share, to appreciate and to build up their siblings and relatives. Some grow up keeping to themselves or to the siblings from their mother and nobody else. Everybody else is regarded with suspicion.

Recently at the thanksgiving and celebration party for my daughter for her graduation from Medical school, something happened that surprised me in a pleasant way. My children are very close in age for the most part, so they played together and spent a lot of quality time together. It is almost as if they can read each other's minds. I had forgotten how close they were until that night. After most of the guests had left, they went to a corner like they used to do and started dancing by themselves, shedding all the " maturity" and going back to little kid days. As they lined up dancing with their cousins, unknown to them, the photographer kept working capturing most of it in pictures. When I saw the pictures, they brought back memories stored away in a safe place in my mind----memories of good times, of love and companionship, memories that will never die no matter what.

Many things in life can die and are no more, but a few things live for ever. The human spirit, which can be broken at times, but nonetheless, live forever. The spirit can be repaired and brought back to good life or it can be left broken until a person dies and the spirit goes back to the maker to be sent to a permanent abode. True love never dies no matter what happens and prevails and for how long.
Sometimes, God sends his creation to the potter's house ( Jer. ch. 18 v.2, v.4) for a makeover, for his very own purpose. Sometimes, people are actually a work in progress in the potter's hand and we as people do not see it at all. We focus on trying to point at the marred vessel which is under repair and show how much better and more fulfilled we are. We make ourselves judges pointing fingers at people who we believe have failed woefully. We start preaching to them, if we are inclined to that. Others may start mocking and taunting, judging and throwing out painful words and phrases to show another what a worthless failure they are. Some will flaunt what they think they enjoy that these worthless losers can never enjoy forgetting that nobody holds a monopoly to intimacy and relationships. It is a choice whether to live as a living sanctuary or to live by the standards of the world. It is laughable when people come out and start to brag about how much more fulfilled and successful and blessed and happy they are because of their marital status. It makes a mockery of everything Ndi Igbo used to believe in including " Onye aghana nwanne ya" It is as if we enjoy throwing pepper in the raw wounds of our brethren who are going through trials, sometimes by no fault of theirs. Some of the trials and failures are actually brought by crafty manipulations by unfriendly friends who then turn around to spread and amplify the problems and point fingers. To a less strong person, it means living in shame and shying away from gatherings for fear of being humiliated further. The saddest part is when it is done by people who should understand, reminding me of an igbo proverb " Oru fulu k'aneni ibe ya kpachapu anya" Watching out and finding out why things are happening and finding ways to fix it should be the goal, not pointing fingers and building theories that hold no truth at all and trying to force it down the throat. Even with this "truths" laced with bible verses, the problem will remain intact.
It is a disgrace how we have let our lives degenerate so badly in the diaspora, becoming empty vessels always making loud noises about our accomplishments and series of titles and elitist positions, the most distinguished of which is now "the married club" Anybody outside this club especially women is useless, lonely, frustrated and the list goes on and should go somewhere and hide and die in shame especially if she was in that club and somehow fell out or got out. Whatever led to the fall out or the difficulties on even the children involved do not matter at all. They are condemned to the thrash can and written off.

No wonder our problems become more compounded with each passing day as we keep unleashing forces which are contrary to the way our people used to do things. We keep adding more bad things to the stack of things we are notorious for. Important principles of life are ignored while we chase after significance with the attainment of loftier titles, degrees, clubs and anything else which may hoist our diminishing self esteem and self worth. It becomes a rat race and it does not matter on whose face we stand to get an inch higher and feel better and more than somebody else. It is a rat race and I see no winners as long as Ndi igbo continue on the downward slide. The WIC saga is a glaring example of who we have become. Fourteen years of a wilderness journey and nothing to show for it.
The rebirth will start one family at a time. Building bonds that last. Quality time. Start today. These bonds hold even after the storm has swept everything else away.
May God help us as we heal as a people.

Chinwe E

VOLUNTEERING HAS IT'S REWARDS

l-r. Nduka Enemchukwu, Ekene Enemchukwu, Chibuzo Enemchukwu, Oluchi Udemezue pictured at Akwudo Diocesan Hospital, Nnewi during a medical mission in December 2007. All four are in one way or the other involved in the medical field and volunteered for the mission. They will do it again in a heartbeat, despite the stifling heat and other difficulties encountered. The rewaards are too many to be mentioned, they said.

One of the rewards of volunteering is the deep sense of fulfilment and satisfaction that goes with it. Giving up time and comfort to render services for the benefit of others is one of the most gratifying activities one can indulge in. It is really an indulgence of sorts.

The gratitude of the individual on the receiving end is worth more than any amount of money in the world.

When something taken for granted by many makes such a big difference in a person's life and is so deeply appreciated, it takes on a totally new meaning for example, giving a pair of spectacles (glasses) to a person who all of a sudden regains the ability to read their Bible again. Their joy, their gratitude, their overall reaction is so overwhelming and humbling that one is found totally dumbfounded that something so insignificant to some of us can mean so much to another. Some of these short stories were captured on video and a few people were interviewed. Some of these interviews will be posted on this blog in the next few days.

As the USA-USA medical mission takes off, we must keep the volunteers in our prayers as they commence on this mission of mercy. Their mission and service will touch many lives in different ways. Certain things may look very small and insignificant to us, but may actually be life changing events to recipients.

The volunteers will be on the ground delivering the services. At the same time, the donors will be there with them in spirit. It is not too late to join the volunteers by donating to the medical mission. Any amount is good enough. A very inexpensive pair of reading glasses changed a woman's life so much that she leaped to her feet and did a dance routine for regaining the ability to read her Bible again.

More to come-----

Chinwe E.

THE HONOR SYSTEM PART 2.( FROM JUNE 2007)

The Inauguration day has come and gone and reactions to it continue to appear in the news. Stories of fleeing ex government officials abound, some true, some false. New appointments are announced daily and few top officials are suddenly finding themselves out of jobs with no warning. Many of the sworn-in are sitting on hot seats as the tribunal and the Supreme court deliberate on the cases before them. Nigerians were advised to abstain from violence and seek redress through the Courts and Election tribunals and they have just done that. The track record of the Judiciary just before the so called elections leave a ray of hope that justice may prevail after all. While reflecting on the events of the past few months leading up to the failed elections and the billions of Naira wasted, money which could have been spent on improving or actually bringing the lives of Nigerians up to acceptable standards, it occurred to me that a lot was accomplished despite the outcome. In as much as many people,actually a vast majority of registered voters were disfranchised by denying their rights to vote, they were enlightened enough to express their outrage. The thieves knew it would get ugly and rolled out the army and police to suppress any uprising or protest. As the Tribunals and the Supreme court deliberate, life goes on as usual, new promises most of which will never amount to anything continue to roll out from the selected officials who were sworn in. The guilt of sitting on a stolen mandate may prick their collective conscience enough to attempt rendering some real service to the people but the job of lifting the standard of living in Nigerians will take more that a prick of the conscience. The level of decadence is overwhelming. Nothing works in Nigeria. Reliable electricity is a non existent, the roads are death traps, there is no health care system, Education has continued to head south with no sign of reversal in sight. Social services are foreign words in Nigeria where everybody fends for himself, the severely handicapped, the mentally ill, even children, everybody is in the rat race. That's why driving on the major highways and streets of Nigeria can be compared to a nightmare with the beggars and hawkers and frustrated drivers engaged in a desperate dance of survival which to someone from a normal society can be really scary but is a day to day reality and a way of life for Nigeria. In the midst of all the chaos and hardship, Nigerians still find a way to be happy through it all. Nigerians always find a way of navigating around the obstacles thrown in their way by fate and try to live life to the fullest. It becomes survival of the fittest, with many of the weak and the sick, the children and expectant mothers bowing out much too soon. The fittest are not spared untimely death, murders for hire and violence during armed robbers claim a number of victims from time to time and the security system is powerless or too corrupt to offer any hope. What are people to do especially the states where no elections took place, like in Anambra State. Somebody is in the state house, sworn in as Governor. Legally, he is Governor until the Supreme court states otherwise. That's the rule of Law. Here in Florida, when the Republican party led by Katherine Harris, disfranchised law abiding citizens and denied them their rights to vote or for their votes to be counted, Al Gore fought tooth and nail for his victory but as soon as the Supreme court ruled, he bowed out like the gentleman he is. The rest is history. Looking back seven years, people are wishing things had ended differently in 2000. Many young widows would have their husbands and their children's fathers around rather than visiting their grave sites at military cemeteries. Many heart broken mothers would have their sons around. Thousands of Iraqis would be alive even if under Saddam Hussein. It would beat what they have today. The United States would have more respect than she commands today. It is almost as if everybody is pleading with Al Gore to run for president while he was cast aside when he had actually won. Things happen for a reason, they say, destiny maybe, but who knows. For Ndi Anambra in particular, you had wanted to vote but didn't get the chance to do so. A governor has been imposed on you, there is nothing you can do about it. It will be foolish to go against guns and bullets. You have done the honourable thing by trying to vote, you have voiced your outrage, prayed your prayers. At this point, the tribunals and the Supreme court are sitting. Whatever hatches from those eggs, we will see but in the time being and whatever comes---------- I hope you dance--- -

ZEPHYR----FABLE #15------AND THE MORAL OF IT.

Fables are-----Short narratives which teach lessons or have morals to help guide humans on how they live their lives. This fable called Zephyr has a moral which fits our situation as a people so perfectly, that it will be an injustice not to share it. I will start by listing the meaning of a few of the terms used here.

ZEPHYR: means ---a slight wind, usually refreshing.

Synonyms for Zephyr include Breeze, Gentle wind and air.
In Greek mythology, the greek god of the west wind was known as Zephyr.

A Fable is usually a short narrative making an edifying cautionary point and often employing animals as characters that speak and act like humans.

Fables usually have Morals which are the lessons or principles contained or taught by a fable,story or event.

Gale-----A very strong wind.
Also any of four winds with speeds of 32-63 miles ( 51-102 kilometers) per hour according to the Beauford scale.

Zephyr (fable # 15) by Eugene Fitch Ware.

Once a Kansas Zephyr strayed
Where a brass-eyed bird pup played,
And that foolish canine bayed
At the Zephyr, in a gay,
Semi idiotic way.
Then the Zephyr, in about
Half a jiffy,took that pup,
Tipped him over,wrong side up;
Then it turned him wrong side out.
And it calmly journeyed thence,
With a barn and string of fence.

MORAL

When communities turn loose
Social forces that produce
The disorders of a gale,
And upon the well-known law:
Face the breeze, but close your jaw.
It is a rule that will not fail:
If you bay at it, in a gay,
Self-sufficient sort of way,
It will land you,without doubt,
Upside down and wrong side out.
----Eugene Fitch Ware


The above fable and the moral describes the crisis we face today in the area of the gentle breeze blowing over our culture in many areas of it. Some, if not many are scoffing at it. Adjustments must be made. The results of that scoffing manifest every once in a while and we are seized by shock for a brief moment and forget about it until it happens again. Some jump out like the proverbial nza as if to challenge their chi to a wrestling match. However, they have not accomplished anything with their bird's ranting. It all blows away with the wind. No human can hold the hand of time and adjust it like a clock.
No one has ever seen the wind. The force of the wind is felt,it can be gentle and caressing, just as it can be strong and forceful.

When blocked, the wind goes around, if it is gentle, or forcefully removes the obstacle in its way.
A gentle wind does not disrupt anything. It brings comfort and adjustment as it goes by. When
a gentle wind is turned into a gale by forces tampering with it, the consequences are disastrous to all involved and nothing is ever the same again. Upside down and inside out.